I lost three pregnancies before Chloe was born, so my dreams were not of worrying about life once baby arrived, they were always the fear of waking up to no baby. I just wanted to know that everything inside of my body was as it should be and my dreams would play tricks on me as I slept.
What I learned from this time was that control was not always within my power. My body would know how to grow this baby, without my help (other than eating food) and would develop this life into a magical being, from the tiniest heart beat to the teeny fingers and toes. Magical, mysterious and full of wonder.
I discovered what was within my control. Faith. Faith that all was as it should be. Faith that my dreams were working out my worries and when I woke, all was as it should be. Faith that I could guide my reactions and anxieties to a place of joy, rather than panic attacks.
We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. All we can do is honor the rest our bodies need and the dreams which are vital to our waking life, and hold faith that our life is like that tiny baby growing inside. When we let the Universe provide for our growth, it is always such a magical mystery.
Chloe was born on September 15th, 2002 in the early hours of the morning. She would be followed by two brothers over the next 6 years. She was my lesson in faith. She was my gift of mystery and allowing. She is my dream baby.
Hannah Marcotti believes that you + joy = the gorgeous life. The gorgeous life is the sparkle, the joy, the magical moments. It is your food intuition, your deep body knowledge, your desire. It is space, it is touch, it is yours. She is the coach who will guide your course there.
Hannah can be found dancing in the joy of her own life surrounded by three kids, a puppy and a beautiful man she has had the pleasure of being with for 18 years. Writing, business coaching and helping others discover their joy in this world is her purpose, proving that we can take action on whatever our heart is willing to dream up.
Define, dream and take the action your heart desires is her daily mantra.
Join her in November for The Holiday Joy UP
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This is beautiful, Hannah! I especially loved this para:
“I discovered what was within my control. Faith. Faith that all was as it should be. Faith that my dreams were working out my worries and when I woke, all was as it should be. Faith that I could guide my reactions and anxieties to a place of joy, rather than panic attacks.”
How often I forget about the FAITH piece and feel like I have to get out there and MAKE things happen, FORCE things to be the way I want/need them to be. This was a beautiful reminder for me that FAITH and TRUSTING are just as important – maybe even more so.
Love this: “She was my lesson in faith. She was my gift of mystery and allowing.” I too had a miscarriage but everyday I am seeing the beauty in the faith and mystery of letting go of control. I am a control freak so this sure is a journey.
Ann, thank you for having me in this space of yours which I find completely divine. And for giving me a chance to look back and remember. xo
Thank YOU Hannah for your loving contributions. These lessons that come to us in pregnancy – faith, allowing, being awake to the mystery – all guide our course through the rest of our lives.