For a time in my late teens & early twenties, I was a little bit obsessed with the classic film ‘The Deer Hunter’. I’m still not really sure why, because its one of the darkest, hardest to watch films I’ve ever seen. Maybe it was helping me come to terms with my own dark side.

Without wanting to sound too ancient, we had fewer channels in those days, & things were less instantly accessible. Maybe that was a good thing, so I could only watch it every few months. It was usually shown so late that I fell asleep halfway through – I’m still a little hazy about the ending.

There was a scene I always made sure I stayed awake for though, my favourite scene. It was a little oasis of light & laughter & whimsy & togetherness & dare I say femininity in the most macho of movies. Here it is, enjoy.

Too Good to Be True

Luckily my life so far has contained almost none of the horror & squalor of The Deer Hunter’s Vietnam scenes. I hope yours hasn’t either. I am better acquainted with the feelings of tedium & monotony of the inhabitants of the Pennsylvania steel town. That’s the challenge for a lot of us.

But I have had plenty of moments of singing badly in bars, of lighthearted  Christmases that send the rest of the year into relief. Of carrying and holding tiny babies with a fervent wish to keep the rest of the world away. Guess what I sing to them?

 

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Maybe you found your way here via a friend.

Maybe you are pregnant or a mother already.

Maybe you stumbled upon it.

Maybe you were curious.

 

Maybe you are secretly checking a couple of places out to help you rule out or rule in having a baby.

Maybe you’re looking for something to convince you morning sickness & stretch marks are where its at.

Maybe you’re looking for back-up that giving birth is SO not this season, SO not where your future lies.

Maybe your mind’s made up, one way or another. To mother or not to mother, either way is great.

I salute you.

 

If you are certain.

If it really is your choice.

Not what’s expected of you. Not something you’re afraid of.

A choice, you’ve made. Consciously.

Anything is better than eenie, meenie, miney mo ~ right?

Someone once found me by googling  ’Is having a kid really such a big deal?’

I swear that’s 100% true.

I think we’ll all pretty much agree that yes, in fact, it is a big deal.

I’ve found it turned out to be a good, sometimes a great deal.

 

But it’s not for everyone.

It’s a decision that can stand some introspection.

And then some.

But sometimes, all that introspection, can find you tangled up in knots.

There’s a hell of a lot of factors to consider.

And, its very difficult to read the label from inside the jar.

And the people in your life, who love you, may naturally have their own ideas about what’s best for you.

They might be the teeniest bit biased, one way or another.

 

But I know someone who is very good at untangling knots.

Randi Buckley is all kinds of excellent at resolving conflicts.

Even when the person you’re conflicted about is yourself. Or someone that hasn’t even been born.

She’s compassionate, and has no hidden agenda.

She knows all about not wanting to have a baby. And wanting to have one.

She has an awesome program called Maybe Baby, where she helps you decide. Or be ok with not deciding.

I highly recommend you check it out here.

I usually don’t recommend things unless I tried them myself.

But this wasn’t available when I needed it.  I’m thrilled it is now.

Maybe she can help you decide.

 

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The Pregnant Pause~ with Hannah Marcotti

November 12, 2011

My dreams when I was pregnant were always vivid with color and popping with strangeness. I enjoyed the crazy brightness and feared the way the dreams would often linger in the morning, feeling quite real. I used my dreams as my way of working out the fears. I lost three pregnancies before Chloe was born, [...]

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The Pregnant Pause~with Kimberly Riggins

November 5, 2011

We all have talked about having children, we definitely all have had fun trying to make a baby but there is nothing quite like the first time you pee on a stick and wait those 3 minutes (which feels like an eternity) to see those two little pink lines, the plus sign or the digital [...]

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The Pregnant Pause ~ with Bari Tessler

October 13, 2011

When my husband and I first got together 10 years ago, I looked through a mirror and saw a baby boy spirit wanting to incarnate through us….I typically don’t walk around seeing spirits, but I did that one time I told the spirit “‘thanks”, but “no thanks “and that “I am not having kids this [...]

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Travel Companions Alert!

October 13, 2011

It’s getting a bit “me, me, me!” around here so I’m delighted to announce a series of guest posts by some very special women giving an insight into their own paths through pregnancy. Pregnancy affects just about every aspect of your life, & I called on some friends to help me cover some different angles. [...]

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The Girl Effect

October 8, 2011

It feels  kind of awful to admit this but I was never entirely sure I wanted kids & I was definitely sure I didn’t want to have girls. In fact I was sure I would never have girls. I was never a girlie girl as a child, being indifferent to dolls & completely opposed to [...]

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Reach out…

September 13, 2011

I was five months pregnant with my third child. My brother had just had a freak accident that left him fighting for his life in a hospital many miles from home. My parents, sister and I had been holding a vigil beside his bedside for days. It seemed like we faced a new crisis every [...]

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Having a baby- Surely you can’t be serious?

June 13, 2011

And so it came to pass… …that through what shall obliquely be referred to as a series of unfortunate events, that I found myself on an apron on the outskirts of Frankfurt International Airport, with an empty tennis racket in one hand, a walkie talkie in the other, and instructions to look after the giant [...]

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{ Hello world! Postcard from another Time & Place }

May 29, 2011

You know the wonderful American movie genre based on the the road trip? That classic coming of age ritual where you and a friend jump in your car and drive crazy distances, have adventures and meet people that can take you a little bit above and beyond your comfort zone. Remember Easy Rider, Thelma & [...]

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